Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
