I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
