is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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