i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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