I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
