Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
