I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
