i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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