Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
