Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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