He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
