Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
