no. you can't hotbox the world.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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