i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
