So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
