Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
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