Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
