I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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