Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
