she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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