yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
