so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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