around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize