best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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