did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
