This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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