Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
