Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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