She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
