that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
