and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
