weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
