well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
