Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
