Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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