he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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