Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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