I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
