Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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