yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
