wanna go halves on a baby?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
