there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
