Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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