sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
