just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
