Its about making memories worth repressing
Little spoons don't ask big questions
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
