She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
