Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have aggressive nipples.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
