if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Jerry, you need to find god
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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