i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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