Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
