Jerry, you need to find god
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
