speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
