Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
