I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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