you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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