she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize