There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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