just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
